Business travellers and family vacations

Also - why do they insist on coming to the airport 3 hours before departure? I arrive an hour before departure and check in online. The security/passport lines should be a breeze if you tell them you are late for a flight. But nooooooo - they don't want to listen. They want to be safe. So we stand in line for check in, then for security, then for passport control, then for the gate. Uggh.

Don't you hate it when they want to shop at Duty Free shops? What a waste of time and money?

My mother in-law had a passport from her home country which wasn't a "visa free" country for our trip... We didn't pick this up until we got into the receiving country (you'd think the airline would have picked this up and not let her board - dreaming I know:)!). Not as crazy as it appears as she has been living in her "new" country for over 50 years and I didn't even think to check for her passport credentials...

I had to leave her at the airport while we went searching in a taxi for a ATM to get the substantial visa fee - 3 kids, my wife, my mother in-law... thanks goodness we always take a maid (we are thinking of legally changing their names to "Amex" as we never leave home with out one, but decided against it as we will likely get caught in customers as they will have to tick "traveled on a different name previously:)!)

This does not sound like a travel diva, this sounds like a slave to travel restrictions. As far as I'm concerned, a true diva travels in style, on his or her own time, with however much stuff he or she likes. Why restrict yourself to only 3 oz of your favorite shampoo when you can check a bag and bring the whole big bottle, which will last for your entire trip? Why rush to the gate to be the first one on the plane when you can get to the airport early and relax, peruse the airport stores for new books or fun local items, and then duck into the plane just as they are finishing the boarding process? (no worries about finding enough overhead space for a bag at that point if you have already checked it).

Following all of these rules can make time in an airport more efficient, but to travel with someone who is always in a rush (for what reason?) is extremely stressful. Why take years off your life with so much added stress and worrying if you can actually slow down a bit and relax (especially if you are taking your family on vacation)? As long as your family members are not out of control bothering other airline customers, I cannot think of a more pleasurable travel experience than getting there early and taking everything slowly, leaving everyone to do as much exploring as they like before getting onto a cramped plane for several hours. I'm sure other customers will appreciate it, as the kids will be much calmer and therefore more likely to get to sleep right away as the plane takes off.

Sorry, you're not b-travel divas, you're t0ssers.

Sounds like someone can't handle the status downgrade of being a holiday traveller and needs to send out signals that they are usually business travellers... oh dear.

Try this missive:

1. Plan ahead. You're the big-shot business dude so a little bit of advance planning should be right up your alley. Make everybody's life easier. Or do you only do it for important stuff, not family holidays?

2. Choose a flight that will give you less stress, like in the middle of the day, when all the t0ssers, sorry, important business travellers are no longer crowding the place.

3. Get to the airport early so you don't have to rush. You can even let that dreadfully important insurance salesman go through security ahead of you. (At least that might stop the sneer for a couple of minutes.) You can sit in the lounge together (my ff lets me do it no problems), eat junk food, show the planes to your children or wander round the shops - it's a holiday remember, not some kind of travel efficiency competition.

4. Check your luggage in. Don't be a t0sser who takes up an entire overhead bin with your over-the-limit carry on. (There is a special place in hell waiting for you, and it looks a lot like Heathrow.) A 20-minute wait at the other end isn't going to kill you. You're on holiday anyway so you don't even have to be anywhere on time, what's the big deal?

5. Distribute everybody's luggage across your bags, so if one goes missing everyone still has some clothes. Anyway, you're on holiday, so why not go shopping for a new outfit? Could be fun. Fun - sound familiar? The luggage will turn up sooner or later, and if it doesn't everything is replaceable.

6. Get on the plane last. Take a seat within sight of the gate, read your travel guide, let the business travel divas get on first and wait for the line to die down. Then go to the gate, minus the crowds. The overhead bins don't really matter to you because you're travelling light through the airport with minimal carry-on, having checked in most of your stuff. And there's plenty of room under the seat in front of the children.

7. You're not wearing your suit, you don't have your blackberry, you don't have a business class ticket. You're a normal person. You're not important. The horror. Get over it.

YES, I'm a business travel diva. I have gotten to the point that when either of my married daughters or my wife suggest an overseas trip (I live in Sydney), I refuse to go unless we all go business class. As they won't do that, I manage to avoid altogether going to the airport.
I read the original missive and I could have written it.

Adendo:
I do check the luggage (do you wanna lead a family commando expedition carrying all your stuff up and down? the airport?). And when possible I walk steadily together with everybody (or you think that the kid-management is the sole attribute of wives? ever heard of collaborative management?).

Folks,

you are not b-travel divas, you are travel neurotics. If you can't break the office mask when on holidays, better not to take them. Or spend the holidays in a (business) psychiatric clinic. So goes the old adage, working to live or living to work... Just think different.

I am so glad I'm not the only one like this -- especially with the planning techniques. Whenever I travel with friends and now my husband, I have to breathe deeply and remind myself that not everyone understands how to pack a carry-on or weave through crowds quickly and efficiently.

I'm 5'2" and my husband is 6', so I can dodge all those slowpokes milling about much more adeptly than he can. He thinks it's because I'm a female that I get away with it, but my fellow Economist readers have proven that it is merely an art form that he has yet to learn. All he's learned so far is to let me run ahead and make me wait for him to catch up. He's a very patient man...

It's funny until you realize you've trained your whole family to operate like a swat team in the airport. My 13 year old requests business class tickets when traveling alone because she hates the lines with all the families... oops.

Renew your membership of the mile high club on occasional family trips: it will delight and surprise your other half and should lead to a vacation that really goes with a bang.

I travel about once a month on personal business, but these are the exact rules I follow, whether a long holiday or a short weekend trip. This has more to do with being a smart traveler than being a frequent business traveler.

Type A indeed. The list is just common sense, but the tone of the "memo to his family" is formal and overbearing.
I'm imagining what it would be like to go to Disney World with this guy. Everyone would be handed their marching orders for the day allocated into 5-minute intervals. Now that I think of it there are a lot of these people there - you can tell who they are by looking for the screaming, overtired children being forced to march onwards. Then he'd have nightly debrief meetings with his family maybe?

The issue with the family is one thing but what about the airlines....they happily take our business when we pay full price, fly business class and create no hassles for them, but when we are ready to go on holiday we can't even get the miles exchanged, can't take the family into the lounge as even gold only allows for one passenger and make us feel very small when we ask for the right seat...

These all are rules that go without saying. You want things to go as smoothly, quickly and hassle-free as possible. Business or holiday family travel, what's the difference?

"What's the most irritating thing that you've ever had to deal with on a family vacation that you'd never face on a business trip?"

Seems to revolve around bodily functions:

Having a kid fill his pamper while you are standing in the queue inside the airbridge? (It gains you a little space though)

Having a wife who always hears the call of nature after the final call to board?

"No check-in baggage" rule simply doesn't work for Japanese business traveller, since he is expected to carry about 10 kg of business documents/brochures/souvenirs both ways. Apart from that, I think I fit most of the descriptions. Oh, and I enforced "Use public transport wherever possible" rule when travelling in Europe (No chance of my pulling this off in the US though, even in New York).

Having a strict no check-in luggage rule = no partner = die alone...
One thing I've done to try to have as little check-in luggage as possible is to sacrifice some of my luggage space for her. Sometimes this works, sometimes there's only so much one can do.

You mean other people don't adhere to these commonsensical rules?
So that must mean I'm a travel di.....

oh bugger.

Last year I took a 17-day vacation with my sister who travels frequently for business. Throughout the vacation I hurried through the streets 15 metres behind her, trying to catch up, while she weaved through everything and everyone. Now I'm better at recognising her from behind than from front, and I'm not sure how her side profile looks like.

And yeah. All that no check-in lugguage and getting to the front of the boarding group expertise. She travels in and out China frequently so I bet she's better with 'crowd management' than even most business travellers hah.

Well the big plus is, in a new city, she always quickly figures out the directions, information boards and signs, and public transport frequencies. When folks ask about my vacation, which I remember very little about, I tell them about my efficient brainy Sister.